pee-stained carpets & the welcome-home shit

hi.  i’ve been trying to write a new story, but i’m sort of having an identity crisis…..as a writer.  not in real life.  but i feel like my style is changing & i’m finding it boring, & i want to get back to my roots.  my sudden fiction, the gothic or sexual imagery, & me wanting to try something new.  if its not experimental, i find it to be stale.

in other news, i am feeling like the ice queen.  i have much love for people & if you saw the way i react when i see a baby or a puppy, you would want to pretend you didn’t know me.  no, i love the people i like, but i don’t want an animal.  i have no heart for the full time job of caring for a dog or cat.  & they said that all of your friends were going to start having babies, & husbands, & blah blah blah, there went every conversation.  but they were wrong!  because its really about the pets.

look, i like animals.  my current job allows people to bring in their animals (plantware = animal friendly, apparently), & so you could say i work beside a beautiful, soft blond mutt & on occasion, run into a meowing, purring fat cat.  but petting it & scratching behind its ears is not the same as pet hair all over my clothes.  & my couch & then its in my mouth because its floating in the air.  (i have lived with animals for many years & this is a sad fact of life.)

the extra incentive of going for walks & getting outside would be a plus, except in the cold Virginian winter, where my full time job is hibernating hermit.  a cat is easier, but they jump up on kitchen counter tops & walk wherever they please…..& cleaning the cat box never gets less degrading.  so, all this probably sounds like EXCUSES, EXCUSES.

WHAT ABOUT ALL THE SAD ANIMALS THAT PEER AT YOU WITH THEIR SAD EYES AS SARAH MCLACHLAN SINGS SADLY?

& to that i say, meh.  i have lived with the heroes, & i have dealt with it.  i have lived through pee-stained carpets and the welcome-home shit and hair in the mouth.  i’m not very motherly to begin with, so i’ve got to save whatever i got for the kickass baby i’m going to have.  or maybe mr. c will just get extra spoiled.

love,
*feisty*

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